We mistake our Lord’s meaning in the beatitudes if we let the dictionary alone define the attitudes those possess whom Jesus calls blessed. For example, Merriam-Webster defines “merciful” as, “Treating people with kindness and forgiveness: not cruel or harsh: having or showing mercy: giving relief from suffering.”  Now, there is nothing wrong with these attitudes defined by the dictionary. We truly ought to be kind, to forgive, to show mercy, to relieve the suffering, and so on.  Yet it’s not what the dictionary says that is faulty; it’s what it does not say. This is the way much error is expressed: by the absence of truth.

We naturally make three fundamental errors when interpreting Matthew 5:7.

1. The first error is what we think it means to be merciful.
   
2. The second error is how we think we become merciful.
3. And the third error is thinking that we obtain mercy because we are merciful.

What does it mean to be merciful?
It means to be satisfied only with mercy established in the propitiatory sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. The cry of the Publican, “God, be merciful to me the sinner” (Luke 18:13), was a cry for mercy on God’s terms; on the basis of justice satisfied. Nothing else satisfies God (Psalm 85:10; Psalm 89:14). Nothing else preserves the King and upholds His throne (Proverbs 20:28). Nothing else clears the conscience and gives peace in the heart (Hebrews 9:14;10:17-18,22). Nothing else glorifies God. Mercy, apart from or independent of Christ, or mercy without regard to righteousness, is not mercy; it is antichrist religion that is pleased when men are eased and God is compromised. Men compromise truth to achieve their ends. They imagine and set before others alternatives to obtain mercy apart from God’s sovereign mercy in Christ. They imagine mercy to be a simple grant of kindness independent of truth and justice. Or they imagine that mercy can be obtained by barter, offering God something in exchange for it: man’s promise to reform, his consent to be saved, or his works of religion. But God will in no wise clear the guilty (Exodus 34:7). The truly merciful man holds the mercy of God in Christ in the highest regard because only it honors God.  Therefore, a merciful person loves mercy that is in Christ Jesus (1 Peter 1:3) because it glorifies God. "Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other" (Psalm 85:10). "Justice and judgment are the habitation of thy throne: mercy and truth shall go before thy face" (Psalm 89:14). "Mercy and truth preserve the king: and his throne is upholden by mercy" (Proverbs 20:28).

It means to desire and seek for sinners be reconciled to God in Christ. God did not and does not desire the sacrifice of things (Matthew 9:12-13). Rather, He desires the reconciliation of sinners to Himself by Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:7-10). Christ made satisfaction to justice (Romans 3:25; 5:10; Isaiah 53:11) and therefore Christ made peace with God for chosen sinners by the blood of His cross (Eph. 2:13-15; Col. 1:20-22). Believing sinners proclaim this truth, both to unbelieving sinners and to sinners saved by grace. They plead to God that He would be pleased to magnify His mercy to others, and they plead with sinners to seek mercy in Christ.

It means to seek out, comfort and minister to the needs of Christ’s people.

2 Timothy 1:16  "The Lord give mercy unto the house of Onesiphorus; for he oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain: 2 Timothy 1:17   But, when he was in Rome, he sought me out very diligently, and found me. 2 Timothy 1:18   The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day: and in how many things he ministered unto me at Ephesus, thou knowest very well."

How do we become merciful?
A merciful man is merciful because God showed him mercy on the basis of Christ’s atonement (Ephesians 2:4-5; 4:32-5:2). Christ is ever and always in the mind and view that faith holds in the heart of the merciful man. Christ’s satisfaction to God and God’s mercy to me is the spring of all truly merciful attitudes, words and actions towards others. Don Fortner said it well: “The merciful have been made merciful by the experience of God’s mercy bestowed upon them in Christ.”

Do I obtain mercy because I am merciful?
I hate it when I hear a song with beautiful music but with lying words. The words to one such song was written by Francis of Assisi (perhaps he only wrote a part of it and it was further corrupted by a more modern artist):

This lyric is just plain heresy. It attempts to dethrone the sovereign over all and make God man's debtor. But, “Who hath first given to Him, and it shall be recompensed again? For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever!” (Romans 11:35-36).

Can a sinner deserve pardon by reform or by attitudes or by offerings? Never! I am pardoned solely on the ground that Christ died in my place, made full compensation for my sins, and that God has received Him for me. If Christ died for me, God has abundantly pardoned me for His sake (Ephesians 1:7). If He did not die for me, I have no hope of pardon. I look to Christ alone for pardon (Micah 7:18). If I look to myself, I cannot be pardoned! (Romans 4:4-5, Christ, the object of faith, is counted to the believer as his righteousness).

We are born of the Spirit of God by sovereign grace alone, on the basis of the shed blood of Christ alone. Like God’s mercy, the Spirit of God gives life to whom He will, according to God’s will alone, just as God works all things at all times and in all places according to His own will (Ephesians 1:11).

Nothing is more revolting to the gospel than to think we are loved because we love or that we obtain mercy because we show mercy. It is revolting because it makes God’s grace a commodity that man may acquire by his own internal attitudes and emotions and words and deeds. Filthy lies! Man is guilty, corrupt, and has plunged himself under the judgment of God. There he lies (Ephesians 2:1-5). If God leaves man to himself, he will justly perish in his sins. “But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)” (Ephesians 2:4-5). God justifies, and He does so “freely by His grace", for no reason found in man, but only for reasons found in God, grounded on the redemption made by Christ (Romans 3:24-25). Justification and the new birth are the mercy of God to sinners.

"We love Him because He first loved us" (1 John 4:19). "When we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son" (Romans 5:10). We are given mercy because God is sovereign and He is good to His chosen sinners in Christ. "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

After writing the previous article on the "Whole Counsel of God", I found this on a bookmark inside one of the books on my shelf. I have greatly benefited from Mr. Spurgeon over the years, and this quote from him best sums up my own prayer for the ministry with which God has entrusted me and everyone of His gospel preachers.

"For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God" (Acts 20:27).

What is 'All The Counsel Of God?'
Paul says to the Ephesians that he declared to them all the counsel of God. What is the whole counsel of God? The answer to this question is found in the context. In verse 24 Paul says that he must finish his course, that he must fulfill the ministry given to him by Jesus Christ. He says “the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.” The whole counsel of God is the gospel of the grace of God. It is the eternal purpose of God to glorify His Son in the redemption of chosen sinners by Jesus Christ, to enthrone Christ as God and man, with His people, over all things in heaven and earth, and to eradicate evil from the universe, all to the glory of God.

Where is it found in scripture?
We do not have to rely on the brief summary in Acts 20:24 alone. The word of God is replete with the answer to this question and is abundantly clear on this point. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is all the counsel of God. The eternal mystery that was hid from the foundation of the world is God's eternal purpose in Christ to redeem His people, the Church of God, the body of Christ, throughout time out of every nation, kindred, tribe and tongue; and to glorify His Son and enthrone Him with His Church over all things; to subdue and destroy and eradicate from the universe all things that oppose God and His people. Christ's person and work is not only what Paul told the Ephesians, but it is what he wrote to them as well. The whole counsel of God is found in such places as Ephesians 1:3-11;17-23; 3:3-11.

Do we limit our doctrine by preaching Christ alone?
Do we limit our doctrine by preaching Jesus Christ and Him crucified alone? I want to be clear on this by stating it in the negative. Most of what passes for preaching today is not preaching Jesus Christ and Him crucified. Most preaching and teaching focuses on how we ought to behave, how to raise our children, how to get along as man and wife, how to work. Much preaching and teaching today describes salvation as a method or a process, a recipe that we must follow, a will that we must exert, a decision that we must make. Today’s preaching and teaching focuses on what we must become to be saved and what we must become once we are saved. It focuses on how we are to act, think, feel, and practice. In short, most of what passes for teaching and preaching today is man-centered, introspective, subjective, and myopically concerned with what I am and what I do. But none of this is teaching and preaching Christ. Cults produce morally upright children. Deniers of the truth make converts by the thousands. Works-mongers turn men into humble self-denying “worshippers.” But it is only the preaching and teaching of Jesus Christ and Him crucified that God will use to save sinners and edify His saints (Romans 1:16; 1 Corinthians 2:2). Jesus Christ and Him crucified is not merely “the milk of the word”; it is both milk for babes and meat for men (1 Peter 2:2). Why is this? Because in it, the person, offices and work of Jesus Christ are revealed. He is the sum and substance of God’s counsel. Let me elaborate...

Examples
What did Eve, Peter, Phillip and Thomas all have in common? They all had to learn that the whole counsel of God is Christ and Him crucified. The devil asked Eve, "Yea, hath God said?" And he added, "that you shall not eat of every tree of the garden?" He flatly contradicted God when he said, "thou shalt not surely die!" Eve forsook the single Truth, the “only-ness” of Christ, the singularity of Christ, as represented by the Tree of Life, and she traded it for the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (2 Corinthians 11:3-4; Galatians 1:6-9). Peter proposed building one tabernacle for Moses, one for Elijah and one for Jesus. God the Father spoke from heaven to correct his error, "This is my beloved Son; Hear Him!" The meaning is clear: Hear Christ only. God only speaks by Him and concerning Him. Moses and Elijah only speak of Him. We know this is the correct understanding because when the cloud was lifted, the disciples found Jesus only (Luke 9:36). Philip thought there must be more to see and hear than his beloved Master, so he asked Jesus to “show us the Father and it sufficeth us.” Our Lord corrects him, "Have I been so long time with you Phillip, and yet hast thou not known me? He that hath seen me hath seen the Father" (John 14:8-9) When Thomas asked in perplexity, “How can we know the way [to the Father]?” (John 14:5) Our blessed Lord answered, "I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life; no man cometh to the Father but by me" (John 14:6). The Hebrew Christians thought they could hold to both the old and new covenants. But God makes it clear that “In these last days, God has spoken to us in His Son” (Hebrews 1:2).

Inescapable conclusions
If eating (hearing, believing) Christ and Him crucified is life (John 6:51), if seeing Christ is seeing the Father, if Christ is the Truth, then what counsel of God is not fully comprehended and revealed in Him alone?! He is the brightness of God's glory, the express image of His person (Hebrews 1:3). Is God in human flesh insufficient? All of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are in Him (Colossians 2:2-3). The fulness of the Godhead dwells in Him bodily (Colossians 2:9-10). He is the Word of God (John 1). And we have all things that pertain unto life and godliness through the knowledge of Him (2 Peter 1:3). Christ is all (Colossians 3:11). We, therefore must teach, preach, learn of, look to and worship God in Christ alone!

Grace & Truth in Christ Alone
Christ is the Truth. As God He is the author of it. As man, He is the Mediator of it. In His person, offices and work, He is the fulfillment and revelation of it. He is the preacher of it. He is the subject of it. He is Truth. There is no truth but what is found and discovered and seen in Him. Therefore, preaching Christ and Him crucified is the full comprehension of all that is God and His eternal will.  Whatever is not comprehended by him, is false, it is error, it is a substitute, it is antichrist. Christ is full of grace and truth. Salvation is by grace alone, from beginning to end. Therefore we must preach and teach Him who is full of grace and truth.

Christ is All
He is all in creation. He made the worlds. All things were made by Him and for Him, and He is before all things (Colossians 1:16; Hebrews 1:2). He is all in providence. “That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him” (Ephesians 1:10). He is all in salvation, “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:12). He is all in sanctification and glory, “He is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25). “If, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life” (Romans 5:10).

In Christ and Him crucified we see every attribute of God fully displayed and glorified. He is the brightness of God's glory and the express image of His person (Hebrews 1:2-3). It is by His work of redemption that God is glorified in the highest possible manner in all of His perfections (John 1:14,18; John 17:1-4; John 12:28-32; Philippians 2:5-11). As one preacher said, "Calvary, and the broken body of Jesus, is the most God-like thing that God ever did."  -- Geoffrey Thomas

Testimony of Scripture
The book of Matthew opens with these words, "the book of the generation of Jesus Christ." The Gospel of Mark is called “the gospel of Jesus Christ” (Mark 1:1). Luke 24:25-27 makes it clear that all of the Old Testament was written about Christ, His suffering and death, and His entrance to glory. John’s Gospel ends by noting that if everything Jesus did was written in books, the world itself could not contain them. But by the Spirit of God, John wrote what he wrote “that you might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the son of God, and that believing you might have life through his name” (John 20:31). In the book of Acts it is recorded that the apostles, “ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ,” Acts 5:42.  The book of Romans was Paul’s gift to the Roman Christians; it is the gospel of Jesus Christ, the power of God unto salvation (Romans 1:11,16). In 1 Corinthians 1:17-18, Paul says to the saints in Corinth that he was “not sent to baptize but to preach the gospel.” He further says that “the cross of Christ is the power of God to them that are saved.” Thus, Christ and Him crucified is not a message restricted for the conversion of unbelievers. That was the reason Paul determined not to know anything among the Corinthians save “Jesus Christ and Him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2). Who could deny that Galatians is given to the Church to explain the gospel of Jesus Christ in contrast to the common error of all false religion, that justification and sanctification are attained by our own works of obedience to the law (Galatians 2:16; 3:3)? Who would deny that Ephesians unfolds the mysteries of the gospel of Christ (Ephesians 1:3-11; 17-23; 3:3-11)? Who cannot see that the book of Hebrews connects all of the dots of the Old Testament to complete the picture of Christ and His fulfillment of the eternal will of God (Hebrews 10)? The book of Revelation is "The revelation of Jesus Christ" (Revelation 1:1).

Milk and Strong Meat
Hebrews talks of “milk” and “strong meat”. “Milk” is the first principles of the gospel. Babes can only digest first principles. We must go on in Christ. We must not depart from Him. “Strong meat” is for the mature. From the context, meat is all that the Hebrew writer lays out concerning Christ in the epistle: His Priestly, Prophetic and Mediatorial offices, His triumph as our Captain over the devil, His fulfillment of the covenant of grace as our Head, Him as our propitiation, Him who perfects us, our Forerunner, the Author and Finisher of our faith.  The epistle to the Hebrews unfolds Jesus Christ is in His person and His accomplished work to fulfill the old covenant, to meet all conditions of the new, to perfect His people, to put an end to the law, and to bring His people into all of the blessings of the new covenant. He is the Great Shepherd of the sheep by whose blood the everlasting covenant of grace is fulfilled (Hebrews 13:20). These are not milk; they are meaty truths that full-grown men of faith live and thrive on (Hebrews 11).

The meat of the word of God is Christ and Him crucified. It's about His relations to God as Son of God and Son of Man, His person, His appointments, His offices, His work. It's about God's eternal purpose to redeem His people by His substitutionary, representative work as their Redeemer. It’s about His body, the Church, the Elect of God, gathered throughout time. It’s about how by these God glorifies His Son and Himself in Him. It’s about Christ enthroned over all things. It's about God subduing and destroying every evil that opposes His rule and people by Jesus Christ.

To go beyond Christ is to transgress
To teach or preach anything but Jesus Christ is to teach and preach error. It is to teach the traditions and doctrines of men and devils. Pharisees gloried in men. But Paul expressed the heart of every believer when he said that his only boast was Jesus Christ and Him crucified (Galatians 6:14; Philippians 3:3). If Christ is the Truth, then all preaching that is not about Him is error. If by seeing Christ we see the Father, then we need see none but Him. If He is the great I AM, then He is all. Christ and Him crucified is the whole counsel of God. In these last days God has spoken to us in and by His Son. Christ sent His apostles. If, therefore, we go outside of what He and they taught, to reveal the mysteries hidden from the foundation of the world, then we have fallen into Eve's error. To go beyond Him is to transgress (2 John 1:8-10). It is to disobey the very voice of God the Father from heaven to "Hear Him!"

Wrapping it all up
The word of God is about Christ and Him crucified, to fulfill the eternal purpose of God to glorify His Son in the salvation of His people across the world over and throughout time; to enthrone Christ as Lord over all, with His people; and to subdue and remove every trace of evil and the works of the devil from God's universe. The gospel is given “that you might believe,” not only when we first believe, but it is given to mature us in the faith of Christ and to walk in love to Him and His people (1 John 5:13). In short, the gospel is given to conform believers to Christ and to build up the Church. “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue” (2 Peter 1:3). Christ and Him crucified is the whole counsel of God.

I suppose there is no dearer and clearer account of repentance in all the Word of God, than which is given to us from the mouth of our Lord Jesus Christ in Luke 15. It was a rebuke to those who considered themselves to need no repentance, and who despised others.

One sheep out of one hundred was lost. Ninety-nine needed no repentance. They considered themselves safe and in the fold.  But for this one sheep, this straying one, this weak, scabby, ugly sheep, the Great Shepherd took His journey. He went into the wilderness. He was made sin. He was cursed. He did this to save His people, His sheep, from their sins. “He was made sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21; Galatians 3:13; Matthew 1:21). He put His life in His hands, and laid down His life to redeem His lost sheep: each lost sheep, each specific, particular, individual lost sheep; each erring sheep. He left the folded ones to save the straying ones. “The Good Shepherd for the sheep is offered.” He sought out His sheep. And He found it. When He found it, He put it on His own shoulders. He carried that sheep home. But He didn’t stop there. He was so overjoyed that He called together His friends. He said, “Rejoice with me, I have found my sheep which was lost!”  Our blessed Lord Himself gives the lesson. “There is joy in heaven over one sinner that repents more than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.” What upside down logic this is to natural man!  Christ does not save the righteous; but saves sinners! He desires mercy! He came to call sinners to repentance! (Matthew 9:13).

Did you notice the unspeakable riches of God’s grace in this account of repentance? Normally, when we cry “repent!” we throw down the hammer hard on lost, weary souls, who have foully gone astray and who are unable to produce the smallest heart-obedience to their Lord. Yet in this account, the lost sheep does nothing. It is the Shepherd alone who notices the missing sheep, determines to go and actually goes into the wilderness, seeks, finds, and brings back this lost sheep! Doesn't this parable highlight to us the greatness of our Shepherd against the contrast of our sin?!  Does not this parable show to us our waywardness and our helplessness -- not merely helplessness, but our intentional straying, as sheep, whose nature it is to go our own way, and we are so stupid that we leave the very One who cares for us and provides for us and takes us to His own bosom?

Have you, dear friend, found in your heart of hearts that you have gone your own way, a way of your own choosing, a way uniquely evil to you, a way in which you have sought more than what the Shepherd provided, have left the safety of His fold, and by your rebellion have put the Shepherd’s life on the line to bring you back?!! Have you seen that it is the Shepherd who spent all to do all in order to have all of you for His own -- you, a straying sheep?!!  And have you seen that heaven itself rejoices with the Shepherd, because He is the Great Shepherd of the sheep, because He laid down His life for the sheep, and because He loved the sheep and saved them by Himself?!! (John 10:15-18; Isaiah 53:6; Hebrews 1:3).

Christ is a Shepherd to His sheep. Is the LORD Jesus Christ such a Shepherd to your soul?  He sees our waywardness, our rebellion, our sin. He determines to save. He came to save. He finished and perfected our salvation in His own death on the cross. Now, by His death, because of His great power through His death, and for the great love of His heart, He not only died to save, but comes in His own Spirit to call, to draw, to bring His sheep to Himself.

The sheep is lost. It is prone even now to wander. “Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it!” The sheep is weak. Yet He carries it on His shoulder!  Can any sight be greater than the one seen at the Shepherd’s return?!  He makes much of His sheep. They are His Father’s, and they were given to Him. Given to Him to keep, protect, feed and save. Given to Him because He loved them. He loved them because they were dear to His Father. He gave Himself for them because they were precious in His sight. His blood was the precious price of their redemption, determined and shed before the foundation of the world for them (1 Peter 1:18-20). The great transaction is done! The redemption price has been paid! The fiend of hell has been bound! He can no longer hold nor devour any by sin and unbelief and the darkness of this world for whom the Shepherd died! The Shepherd comes in the power of His Spirit! He has given His life! Now He points His sheep to His perfect and finished work for them. He carries them on His shoulders by giving them faith to see that He did all and cannot fail to fulfill all and bring them all to Himself, to His Father, His many chosen, blood-bought, born-again sons to glory!

But our Blessed Lord does not end His lesson with the sheep. He multiplies grace with two more accounts! In the first He Himself discovers, recovers and rejoices over the lost sheep. In the second, a woman lights a candle to lighten the house in which she lost one coin. She searches diligently, sweeping the entire floor, until she finds the one lost coin. The lesson is again explained by our Blessed Lord. It is repentance again. This time, we see God the Holy Spirit, by the light of the Gospel of Christ, searching out the elect of God, shining Christ to them until He finds every every lost sinner belonging to His treasury. Upon finding it, He calls for all heaven to rejoice over this one lost piece that is found!

Finally, there is the prodigal. O! who among us can withhold tears of sorrow and joy while reading this? “The Father Himself loveth you” (John 16:27). It is against Him, against heaven, that we sinned. We left. We wasted. But He arranged affliction in our souls to bring us to Himself again. He sent the famine. He created a hunger and thirst and called His goodness to our minds that is in Christ, bringing us to our senses, giving us the words to pray (Romans 2:4; Hosea 14:1-4; :Ephesians 2:1-5). He brought us, but before we ever arrived, He comes to us, He runs to us, by His own Spirit, in the preaching of His Gospel, even to the rebellious, “As though God did you beseech you by us, we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God!” (2 Corinthians 5:19-21). He kisses us with the kisses of His mouth, the Word of God, the Gospel of our salvation (Ephesians 1:13). He enwraps us in His arms. He calls for the best robe to cover our nakedness, the righteousness of His own dear Son! He puts on our hand His own ring of sonship. He puts the shoes of the Gospel on our feet that we may walk in Christ. He calls for His servants to preach to us the Lord Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. And in all this, we hear the triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit making merriment in heaven in the presence of the angels, and saying to us in the garden of our souls, “My son, thy sins, which were many, are all forgiven thee!” “This my son was dead, and is alive again, he was lost, and is found!” And they began to be merry.  And the merriment never ends! Because God purposed, chose, redeemed, gave birth to His own -- birth by His Spirit through the seed of His Gospel (1 Peter 1:23; James 1:18).  Now He reminds us and holds us and will finally present us to Himself, without spot or wrinkle. This He will do by His will, by Christ’s work, by the life-giving operation of His Spirit, applying Christ to us in His gift of faith, to receive all from Him!. O wonderful God-wrought task; for me, what God’s Son hath earned! Thank God for His gift of repentance to turn us, turning us from trusting everything and anything that we are to live by faith on the Son of God alone! What joy arises in our souls to know that God has put me in Christ, preserved me in Him, and brings me and keeps me in Him!

I know I’ve sinned. I want to know and love the Lord Jesus Christ. When I hear the command, “Repent!”, I worry that I’ve never truly repented and that everything I’ve considered to be repentance wasn’t. Sin is ever with me. I don’t do what I know I ought to do. I do what I know I shouldn’t. Sin afflicts my mind, my motives, my words, my habits and my actions. Not a day goes by that I don’t have cause for sorrow over what I am. What I am, what I feel, my lack of right action brings only despair. But my experience of repentance gives me no hope -- not even a little.

I have found only one ground of confidence before God and in my conscience. I have only one hope, only one reason to come to God. It is this: God has commanded me to repent and has made Christ everything. I find Him to be all-sufficient.

I used to think if God looked at my heart, He would see that I truly wanted Him. I don't think that anymore (Jeremiah 17:9). I used to think I needed to produce a certain level of sorrow for sin. But I can't make myself sorry. I used to think I needed to reform my life to a point that I could validly claim to be a Christian. I used to think I would have no confidence before God until I experienced sorrow like others reported in their experience. I used to think I could only trust Christ if I was sincere...and so many other "used to thinks".

But I have come, and continue to come, to exasperation with all of the things I look for in myself. I am left with nothing but what the Lord Jesus Christ is and what He has done to save my soul by His own obedience unto death in fulfillment of God’s eternal and entire will. He either saved me at the cross, or I cannot be saved. 
He either saved me by Himself, by His sufferings and death, or I am not saved.

So I call on Him. I come to Him. I trust Him. I hope in Him. I find nothing in myself in which I can take confidence. And, ironically enough, this is my repentance! Christ has, in love to my soul, delivered me from the guilt and condemnation and eternal punishment of my sins!  And knowing He has answered all for me, makes me ashamed of all that I am and have done against His goodness.

My sins scare me. They remind me what I am in myself. They reveal how I hated the One who has only done me good. They remind me that I am nothing and can never be anything in myself. They remind me that all I am before God is what I am in Christ. This, I am sure, is God’s gift to me. This is faith and repentance rolled into one gift of grace that makes Christ precious, that makes my sin odious, and makes me cry daily for deliverance from my unbelief to be given eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to believe that Christ is all.

One thing I have learned is this: I will not trust Christ until I am unable to trust myself. Until I am hopeless in myself I will never believe Christ. If I think I can repent; if I think that someday I can do the right and stop the wrong; if I think I can convince myself, persuade myself, decide myself or will myself to believe Christ; if I think that when all of the circumstances are just right I can do what God requires of me, then I will never trust the Lord Jesus Christ!  To believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, I must find nothing and expect nothing from myself and must abandon all other confidences and lean the entire weight of my eternal soul on the accomplishments of the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by His death, does now bring me to God and fully answers for my soul!

This love of Christ constrains me to serve Him all the days of my life. I cry, “LORD, I beseech Thee! Deliver my soul!” (Psalm 116:1-13). And I find, with the prodigal, that God, even the Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, is my Father and has commanded to clothe me in the best robe -- the righteousness of His Son -- and to put the ring of His sonship on my hand, and to enable me to walk by faith in the Gospel of His grace (Luke 15)!